Happy Birthday! I Hope Your Day Is As Spectacular As Your Ass – Greeting Card
$7.00
An Impossibly High Standard.
The “Happy Birthday! I Hope Your Day Is As Spectacular As Your Ass” card from Empty Promise is premium birthday stationery for anyone blessed with great genetics and a partner who refuses to be subtle. Featuring a clean and striking layout on heavy luxury cardstock, it swaps out sappy poetry for a massive dose of elite “cheekiness.” It is chic, hilariously direct, and the ultimate way to celebrate their best physical asset.
Forget those generic cards that ramble on about inner beauty and personal growth. Nobody has time for that. This card sets a standard for their birthday that is honestly going to be tough to beat. Unless they plan on discovering a hidden treasure chest or winning the lottery, their next 24 hours will fundamentally struggle to match that view. Empty Promise brings you premium heavyweight cardstock paired with a beautifully minimalist illustration that gets straight to the point. You spent top tier money on luxury stationery because you care, but mostly because you just wanted an elegant excuse to state the obvious.
