Greeting Cards

When a text message feels too cheap but a genuine conversation feels too exhausting, there’s this: premium, heavy cardstock designed to fulfill your societal obligations. We’ve done the emotional heavy lifting for you with deadpan copy and zero sincerity. Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or any occasion where you are legally required to pretend you care.

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10/10 Would Bang Again – Greeting Card

$7.00

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At least it’s not an STD – Greeting Card

$7.00

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Enjoy Your Lifetime Of Shared Debt – Greeting Card

$7.00

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Happy Birthday! I Hope Your Day Is As Spectacular As Your Ass – Greeting Card

$7.00

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I’d Still Swipe Right – Greeting Card

$7.00

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I’m Just Here For The Open Bar – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You Don’t Look a Day Over Your Actual Age – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You Have Exceeded My Low Expectations – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You Made Things Significantly Less Terrible – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You Survived Another Year of Being You. Impressive. – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You’re Alive, Well Done – Greeting Card

$7.00

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You’re Taking This ‘Needing Attention’ Thing Too Far – Greeting Card

$7.00

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